Ode to the Commissary Bagger

Oh Commissary Bagger,
How I appreciate your service!
Conscientiously bagging my groceries,
The cold with the cold, boxes with boxes,
Cans with cans, thoughtfully sorted.
But why, oh Commissary Bagger,
Must you double bag everything?
I know cans are heavy, and have an edge,
But I think that they are not so devious as to
Rip their way through a bag during the
Ten-step walk from the door to the car.
I'm sorry I forgot my reusable bags,
Which indicate my preference for conservation
Of bags, although that doesn't help
Since if I brought my reusable bags you would
Use those anyway. I bought four bags
worth of groceries, and you double bagged three
of them. The milk doesn't need two bags,
in fact, I'd be ok with no bag at all.
The five bags of frozen veggies weren't that heavy, either.
I appreciate a job well done,
And I know you are working for tips only,
So I try to calculate a living wage in my head for you,
But I promise I will not tip you more for giving me more bags.
Save a landfill; please, one bag at a time will do.

If you need a little edification

then you should play my new favorite game on MSN.com, Peggle! It's simply, slow-paced, and when you win you get fireworks and Beethoven's Ninth, which somehow makes you feel really good about yourself. The unicorn is a little creepy, but hey, that's some powerful music. If God feels the same way I feel when I win Peggle when we worship Him (diagram that sentence! ha!) then that would be awesome. Yes, this is really all that is going on in my life right now. Except for vague contemplations about moving back to Bryan and buying a house and getting some jobs to pay the bills until we can get that good job where you only need one at a time. But mostly Peggle.

Expelled...

...opens THIS WEEKEND!!! Go see it or buy someone tickets.

The Cheeseburger Song is NOT Okay!

For those fortunate enough to be unfamiliar with the song, it is a VeggieTales song of the "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt" variety. The lyrics are as follows:

He said to her "I'd like a cheeseburger,
And I might like a milkshake as well",
She said to him "I can't give you either",
And he said "Isn't this this Burger Bell?",
She said "Yes it is, but were closed now.
We open tommorow at ten!",
HE SAID "I AM EXTREMELY HUNGRY!!!!
But I guess I can wait until then......"

(Chorus)
Coz' your his Cheeseburger,
His yummy Cheeseburger,
He'll wait for you-ooo,
YAH! He'll wait for you-ooo,
Oh, You are his Cheeseburger,
His tasty Cheeseburger,
He'll wait for you-ooo,
Oh, he will wait for you.

(verse 2)
He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise,
He may have dozed off once or twice,
when he spotted a billboard for 'Denny's',
Bacon and Eggs for half price,
How could he resist such an offer?
He REALLY needed somthing to munch!
Cheeseburger please do not get angry!
He'll eat and be back here for lunch!

(Chorus)
Coz' your his Cheeseburger,
He's priceless Cheeseburger,
Be back for you-ooo,
He'll be back for you-ooo,
Won't be so long Cheeseburger,
Oh lovely Cheeseburger,
Be back for you-ooo,
Oh he'll be back for you!

(bridge)
Coz' he loves his Cheeseburger with all his heart,
And there ain't nothing gonna tear you two-oo apart,
And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,
He would get down on his hands and knees,
To see if someone accidenly dropped some cheese in the dirt,
Then he would wash it up for you,
Wipe it up for you,
Clean that dirty cheese up just for YOU!!!!!!

You are his Cheese-bur-GER

Really?? Really. This is a kids' program, targeting the Christian youth of our country, and they write a song about infidelity and try to pass it off as a love song? No! Thinking Christians should not let this happen! Let me rehash the plot for you: Boy declares undying fidelity to Cheeseburger... then runs off with the first CHEAP thing to come along! Because he "needs something to munch". As if that were a good reason for adultery. And people find this song amusing! Lots of people! It is teaching your impressionable children that it's ok to profess your undying love to one entity, then run off with a floosy when you become impatient, while STILL professing faithfulness to the first love! Adultery, premarital sex, psychological abuse, lying, giving into temptation... which of these do you want to teach to your children? I say that Christians shouldn't stand for it!

I'm sure you all think I'm over-reacting, and it's possible that I am, but we should think about the things we expose ourselves to, especially things presented as innocuous and family-friendly. This is what this song is saying. I'm just suggesting that we take the lamb costume off the wolf.